1. Sexual Exploitation and Trafficking happen in YOUR community.
2. Porn, Strip Clubs, and Escorting are all forms of sexual exploitation.
3. The solution isn't so simple as "busting the bad guys" and "rescuing the victims".
Over the last 10 years, I have worked with hundreds of sexually exploited and trafficked individuals in 5 different countries, 3 different languages, and many different cultural contexts. Not a single one of them has been able to look me in the eyes and honestly say that they enjoy, like, prefer, or choose this as their way of life. When we really break things down and get talking about their lives, ALL of those who are willing to have an authentic conversation, express two main things:
First - Vulnerability
All tell me a story about how they were vulnerable in one way or another. Houselessness, poverty, family dysfunction, debt, something that led them to desperately survive.
Second - Trauma
They tell a story about something traumatic - neglect, sexual/physical abuse, assault, rape, etc. And it goes along with their story about how they ended up being sold for sex.
Now that being said, I am going to explain what I have found in my personal research about sexual exploitation. Three things the world doesn't seem to want to hear.
Sexual Exploitation and Trafficking happen in YOUR community
I have worked in a lot of communities. I've read stories, research articles, and reports. And I have found that exploitation happens pretty much everywhere. Even in places you least expect it.
Utah is a great example. People DO NOT expect it to happen in Utah. But it happens. All the time. Every single day. Our program has worked with over 350 sexually exploited people in the last 2 years, in Salt Lake City. And we believe this is just the tip of the iceberg.
If people are selling sex, or there is an exchange of sex for something of value,
then there is sexual exploitation in your community.
It doesn't suddenly make your community a horrible, dangerous place for most people. It doesn't mean all of your children are now in grave danger of being kidnapped and sold into a sex slavery ring in another country... It just means that there are people in your community who are very vulnerable, traumatized, and suffering at the hands of other people in your community who think it is ok to buy sex. Which is not ok, and means that people in your community are being routinely traumatized by others in your community... Not cool.
Porn, Strip Clubs, and Escorting are all forms of sexual exploitation
This is a reality that even people within the "anti-trafficking community" don't like to talk about or accept. Sexual exploitation and trafficking often get really intensely sensationalized. Like a sweet little girl chained up in a brothel being raped to death by creepy old men. Which happens. But it isn't the norm. Meanwhile, you drive through the main street of most cities and there are strip clubs, with 19 year old girls from your community, being bought and sold for sex. And no one bats an eye... In fact, people go there for parties.
And we don't even think about it as the same issue - sexual exploitation. When the reality is, any form of selling sex, is in some way exploitative and traumatic.
If you want an in depth explanation of this, you should respond to this article and let me know. I am happy to explain, discuss, or give more context. But for today's purposes, I will just say that if you had the amount of time and experience that I do, working with people who are exchanging something sexual for something of value, and you heard their stories, and really saw their lives the way I have, then you would have zero question about this concept.
Now for a story.
The other day, a friend of mine told me a story about how someone they knew had cheated on his girlfriend by having sex with "an escort". The people who were involved in the conversation talked about this girl and how her boyfriend is in jail and how he "pimps her out". And that was essentially the end of the conversation. Not a lot of exploration into what her situation actually is, what it means, or why it is happening. Just acceptance of the idea that sometimes "boyfriends" "pimp out" their "girlfriends"... And acceptance of her as "An Escort". Labeling her this way takes a bit of her humanity from the conversation.
Ladies and gentlemen, the new language for this is Sexual Exploitation. It is a term that is descriptive of her experience and situation, not a label on her as a person. She is probably also experiencing human trafficking according to federal legislation.
The old language is Slavery. And I think that is still an appropriate term, frankly.
The solution isn't so simple as "busting the bad guys" and
"rescuing the victims"
We have been taught a few things incorrectly.
First, that it is normal and kind of whatever for someone to be pimped out by their boyfriend.
Second, it is entirely up to law enforcement to fix this issue, by enforcing laws that are incredibly difficult to enforce.
Third, healing doesn't begin until someone has been removed from a traumatic situation.
None of these things are true.
The reality is that someone being sexually exploited, like I stated above, has horrible trauma. And trauma affects the way we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us. It affects how we do relationships. It affects our ability to trust others. It damages our ability to create and maintain healthy boundaries. It affects how we eat, sleep, breathe, and have sexual encounters. And trauma is the root issue with slavery.
If you want to end slavery for an individual, you must help them heal from trauma.
And most of the time, that process needs to start before they get out of an exploitative situation. They will struggle to stay out of exploitation, if they did not engage in healing in some way before they exited the exploitation.
So I offer you a solution.
At HealEx, we are pioneering innovative, healing focused solutions to exploitation and human trafficking.
Come learn about what we are doing by watching out documentary, reaching out for more training on this subject, or staying up to date by reading our posts.
For more information, you can contact us at info@heal-ex.org.
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